New

I haven't been posting anything. Mostly because nothings been happening. I've been resisting the urge to go out. My servants weren't too happy about it, but other than that nothing seemed to be happening... So, I guess going out isn't in fact necessary? Anyway that's not why I'm updating you now. No this time it's because it appears I've been kidnapped.

The culprit is a tall faceless bastard who appears to of trapped me in some strange place full of black trees. He keep asking me about The Blind Man... I don't know where that guy is and I don't really care to find out...

I should probably be worried, but I'm really not... I'm mostly just annoyed... Either because I've completely given up on a desire to live or because I'm not entirely sure if I can die, I have not yet decided...

I was finally starting to figure things out and then this has to happen...

I'm not the only one here either... There's others... Well at least one other. A woman... From what I gathered she's like me. A normal person who was turned into a monster by The Blind Man...

Perhaps I should try and find some way to talk to her... Maybe once I figure a way out of the tall Man's clutches...

What happens if I just stop?

Like... when I have a target I just get this urge to go out. I can just sort of travel to my destination at will... I'm not sure who's picking these targets or giving me this urge, is it me subconsciously or someone else... How do I pick my targets and better yet why? Why do I target people? What is my function? If I just resist the urge... Stop going out... I won't kill people anymore, but what will happen? If I stop doing this job do I die? I wouldn't mind that really, but would anything else happen, is this job necessary in some way? Maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty driving the blind guy off... He could probably help answer these questions...

The kids, well some of them, have requested that the next time I go out I bring them with them. They said they could help me somehow... I'm not sure how and I'm not sure if I'm ever going out again.

I've killed again...

It was a child this time... Well no more than that it was a family. A mother and two children... I'm not sure who I was here for, but... They were expecting me it seems.

I showed up and immediately without me desiring it the temperature began dropping... I didn't even give them a chance to say yes or no this time... I think they might have already made that choice in the past however. I get the feeling that I'm just inheriting some of the old job holder's problems...

It wasn't a house it was some abandoned building somewhere. When I showed up the children began to run and the mom took out a homemade flamethrower. Fire covered me, it didn't hurt and soon after the device began to freeze to the point she couldn't hold it. She fell to her knees and cursed me with every word she knew as she froze to death. Her children didn't fare much better. I caught both of them a little bit later and they froze as well. They were crying... The tears freezing on their faces as the temperature dropped.

I returned to The Heart of Ice feeling worse than before. I expected my children to be waiting for me, but they were gone. Instead that strange blind old man was there.

"It gets easier, you know," he said and I glared at him.
"I don't want it to get easier, I want it to stop," I countered, feeling angry. He simply shrugged.
"You won't really have a choice. One of the others has already begun to enjoy themselves in their new role," he explained.
"Others?" I asked confused.
"Oh yes. You didn't think you were the only new office holder did you?" he said smiling, amused by my ignorance and or arrogance.
"I kind of did yeah..." I felt silly, but then the anger returned.
"You did this to me didn't you? This is your doing?" I asked, I'm not sure where I had gotten that idea.
He shrugged. "In a way I suppose I did..." I didn't wait to hear anymore. I let out a roar, that probably would have been more impressive and intimidating if it didn't sound like a ten year old trying to play T-rex, and summoned forth massive pieces of ice which flung themselves at him. He simply vanished and then reappeared standing beside me. "You should really calm down..." he said and I turned on him trying to grab him. He caught my hands, "Really now, you're acting like a child-" he began, but I cut him off.
"-I am a child!" I yelled and began trying to freeze him. There was no effect.
"I can tell you don't wish to talk to me at the moment, so I'll be going. When you've calmed down a bit call on me and we'll talk more," he said and then vanished completely. I remained there, fuming and then heard the voices of the children, approaching. I ran to meet them and immerse myself in their comforting adoration. We played games and told stories, but this time it didn't make me feel much better...

Storytime

I think I'm starting to really like these kids...

They saw how upset I was and decided to try and cheer me up. They invited me to join in a circle with them and engage in some reading. Sitting with a bunch of people all of us reading stories to each other, some better at reading than others and stories ranging from Children's books to Young adult novels. It was pretty fun and they obviously care about me... I feel better... I still never want to kill again, but at least I have these kids to help me feel better if it does happen again.

Oh how ironic... Becoming the embodiment of loneliness is making me appreciate the company of others...

I was wrong

The worst part is the killing. Definitely the killing. I know why they fear me now... I fear me now. I'm a monster. I went after a guy. He reminded me a lot of myself. Alone, but comfortable with it. Which also answered my question about whether or not all my "victims" would be children... Oh god I also now realize why I felt the need to use that word... I'm sorry I'm not being very straight forward here am I... I just... I killed someone it was horrible... I went to visit him. He didn't want to join me... I thought I would just leave him alone, but I couldn't... I couldn't control myself... The temperature started dropping. First slowly a few degrees then dropping by tens of degrees and eventually even faster than that. The man started freezing and begging me to stop, but I couldn't. The entire area was beginning to be coated with ice and I watched his fingers freeze and fall off and soon after he was dead... A frozen corpse in the middle of a frozen room. I don't want to do this anymore...

What if a child says no? Will the same happen? What if he had been chosen instead of me, would I have met that end at his hands?

The worst part

So, far the worst part of this whole thing is the nursery Rhymes. It seems to be something, uncontrollably linked to this new self. Everywhere I go I hear them and occasionally I catch myself singing along with them. I figured that like the domain maybe I could control this and I tried to change the nursery Rhymes to some nice classical Music.

You ever hear Vivaldi's Four seasons played like a nursery Rhyme? I have. I don't even know how that works...

So, yeah just constant nursery rhymes or other songs played like nursery rhymes...


I've been forcing myself to spend time with my Children of the Cold, it's actually not that bad. I don't know if something about being changed made them more mature or children are just way more mature than I give them credit for, but they are actually quite fun to converse with. One of them even seems to know a little about The Cold Boy and has unknowingly informed me a bit about myself that these slowly burgeoning memories have not.

For instance did you know I am apparently secretly just some sort of personification of The Ice Age. I didn't know that and I am me. Apparently the child knows this from other blogs. It seems The Cold Boy has existed long before I became him. I assume in the form of many people before me doing the same job. Apparently I am part of something that people refer to as The Fears or various other names and we have a small, but noticeable presence on the blogging world in the forms of people who have had run ins with them. Most assume these to be fiction except for those who have met them as well.

I don't really get the name. The Fears? I'm not scary. I just befriend people and turn them into little monsters. There's nothing scary about that, but apparently I and the other "Fears" are considered terrifying monsters, by most people.

I guess people just fear what they don't understand.

I mean I'm not scary. Look at me I'm adorable.

All the little children

There is some kind of irony in this world that the loneliest person in the world who enjoys their solitude gets picked for a job that represents loneliness and yet his main goal is to find others who are lonely and make them join him...

So... I enlisted my first Child of the Cold today. It wasn't so bad. Some little twerp who didn't like the fact that everyone at school ignored her. Basic stuff, no friends, always picked last for things, divorced parents, both too busy to ever give her much attention. Basic hollywood loner stuff... I showed up took her away to the Heart of Ice and we went like sledding and stuff and just generally had fun until she agreed to become my servant so we could be "friends forever" once she turned of course I quickly shunted her off somewhere and she's wandering around now... I don't think my servants can rebel, but perhaps I'll have to get over my desire for solitude at some point. I'm pretty sure telling people they won't be alone anymore then quickly leaving them alone somewhere in a vast empty city of cold unfeeling ice is morally wrong...

Speaking of are all my "victims" going to be children, cause I know I'm apparently like a ten year old kid or something and I'm not like doing anything to these kids... other than turning them into black eyed frozen monsters I mean, but the whole luring children to my lair with promises of friendship thing makes me feel a bit creepy...

The title I chose for this post, probably doesn't help...

Well anyway that's all for now... I suppose I should suck it up, go find that girl and I don't know play checkers with her or something...